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My Child Is On Facebook, Now What?

The following is an article I wrote for our school newsletters this week. It (and all other content on this blog) is licensed under Creative Commons and cannot be reprinted without attribution.

Bebo. MySpace. Facebook. Odds are you've heard about these websites by word-of-mouth, or mentioned in the media, but you probably weren't aware that there are even more (over 100 at last count) social networking websites online and waiting in the wings, ready to occupy your free time. You may already be using them yourself, perhaps to share photos or to discuss your favourite books. However, it is also likely that, with the speed and momentum at which social network sites cater to aspects of mainstream, sub and counter cultures, your kids are already finding a place on the web to call their own, too.

For those of you wondering, a social network service:

"...uses software to build online social networks for communities of people who share interests and activities or who are interested in exploring the interests and activities of others."

Social networking websites are definitely here to stay, and already have a well-established foothold in the workplace and schoolyard. In the course of their growth they have also raised important issues surrounding identity, child/teen use and, of course, privacy.

Common perceptions towards social networks sites lean towards the alarmist point of view, ie: that if your child is online, they are "in danger". And while there may indeed be some factual basis to support that attitude, there are things you can do to protect your children online and still enjoy the benefits of online social interaction.

If you're comfortable with your kids using social networking sites, you may wish to consider the following points, and indeed discuss them with your children:

Review websites' privacy policies
Of particular importance, you need to know your rights as a parent to manage (or even delete) your child's online profile if they are younger than 13. (Facebook in particular frowns upon anyone signed up to their website who is under 13 and considers them in violation of their Terms of Use policy.)

Use privacy settings to restrict who can access and post on your child's website.
Most social networking sites have advanced privacy settings where users can lock away very specific parts of their information from casual passers-by. On Facebook and MySpace for example, the Privacy link is now part of their primary navigation menu, in the top-right of the page.

Talk to your children about what information should be kept private
Children may now be computer-savvy enough to create Powerpoint presentations, but may not realise the importance of not posting their age, hometown, etc.

Look at the friend list
Consider limiting the amount of 'friends' your child communicates with to people you are sure he or she already knows.

Join your kids online
Sign up for and use the same social networking sites your child is using. Make them aware of your presence and demonstrate good behaviour online.

Know how your kids are getting online
Apart from computers and cell phones, don't forget that modern games consoles like the Nintendo DS, Wii, Sony PSP and PS3 all offer internet access via wireless networks, but also have parental controls for you to limit and restrict their access.

If you'd prefer your children not be online (but are concerned they may be anyway), consider:

  1. Creating a restricted access user account on your computer that limits what programs the user can run
  2. Reviewing your child's internet history - this is turned on by default in most browsers and usually catalogues about a week's worth of visited sites.

Communication with your child is always the best possible course of action against a perceived threat, but if in doubt, turn off the computer, call up some school friends and arrange to go bowling. The advent of online social networking may be drastically changing the way we interact with one another, but it's not yet anything like the real experience.

Discussion on this post is welcome, please add your point of view by clicking 'Comments'. References can be viewed by clicking 'Permalink'.

Thoughts on 'Elmo Live'

Adam sent this link through to me the other week under the title of "Most... disturbing... video ever.":


"Next week on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles..."

Ticklemelmotimeline.jpg

Elmo has certainly come a long way since his first "Tickle-Me" incarnation. In fact, in researching this, I had no idea there were so many different Elmo dolls at present (see video below). I think the possibilities of the new one are pretty damned cool, though. How hackable will the new Elmo be - because that will certainly be a sales factor.

It makes me think of what Teddy Ruxpin could have been with a chip and an uplink cable, instead of a cassette player embedded in his stomach. Get in line early, folks, this one is going to be the must-have XMas toy of 2008. Buy early, eBay earlier...

I disagree with Adam though - this video is much more disturbing entertaining:


"Hehehe...that tickles! KILL JAMES. KILL ALL HUMANS."


More Elmo-phemera:


  • Puppeteer (muppeteer?) and voice of Elmo, Kevin Clash on NPR's "Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me", January 2007 Link


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